mental-health - Mums in Cyprus | The Family Network

Tips for smoother lockdown living

By MiC Carine 05/04/2020

Congratulations to us all…two weeks of official lockdown are behind us

To be exact, it’s been three weeks of stay-at-home since schools closed down. What an achievement! (who would have thought we’d ever have to celebrate such a feat)

By now we will all have adapted to indoor confinement with various degrees of success – however we may define success for ourselves – and with previous comfort patterns no longer relevant, we’ve all had to carve out new parameters for our family lives to evolve in.

If you haven’t yet implemented some of these strategies in your home, you might find a couple of our suggestions useful.

Stop talking about corona virus all the time

Remember the never-ending news cycles about Brexit? Climate change? War in Syria? Migrant crisis? They don’t seem so important to the media anymore now, do they? Yet they all remain out there, none of these issues have suddenly gone away. There’s still more to life than the coronavirus. As much as possible, try to maintain a sense of new-normal in your home. Not just for your own personal mental health, but it helps provide a sense of stability and consistency for your children, no matter their age. We’ve mentioned the importance of limiting our use of social media in order to keep all that negativity and confusion out of our hearts. The same actually applies to the TV news channels, especially the overly dramatic ones. The situation is bad, and it will get worse before it gets better. As far as this virus is concerned, we don’t need anyone telling us over and over again.

Yes, school is important, but there’s more to life than that

If you have the privilege of your children being schooled online, you’re probably already in some sort of a set morning frame. Home schooling is undoubtedly filled with its very own multitude of new challenges…but let’s not get into those…just remember that children across the world are being kept home, a large number of them will fall behind academically, fact. The schools are aware and will adjust the course accordingly. It doesn’t matter so much right now, honestly. Let’s use the time to also teach our offspring the much lacking life skills. How to boil an egg, cook pasta, make a bed, change a tyre, sew on a button, manage our money – the list is endless, and these topics are just as important (if not more so!). Recap on the day, give everyone a chance to say what they liked and disliked, use the info to shape an improved tomorrow.

Everyone needs Me Time and personal space

No matter how much love there is to go around in your household, being on top of each other 24/7 can become ‘interesting’ for any family. Even more so if you haven’t got the added space of a balcony or garden, and/or have multiple children but not enough rooms for everyone to retreat to for a little privacy. Why not assign each member of your household a specific area in your home that’s exclusive to them, a safe space they can use if they do not want to communicate and prefer to be alone? For younger kids this can be a ‘cave’ under the dining room table, a ‘tent’ pitched over the bathtub or anything else that works for you. Time to let them get really creative and respect their choices, however crazy they seem to you.

Once the ‘novelty’ of home isolation wears off, establish a new routine

Who doesn’t love a pyjama day or two (or more)?! Pure bliss. Constant munching and grazing?! Bring it on. Maybe a wineglass, cocktail, beer or two? Or three? Yep. But about that…weeks into the lockdown, this really should stop for the sake of our mental and physical health. A structured day is an important contributor to feeling in control, despite the fact that nothing much is up to us anymore. Once you’ve binged on the new-found freedom from the alarm clock, timetables and to-do-lists (in case you’re not working from home), find a new routine to suit the needs of everyone in the family. The best way to do this is together. Brainstorm, prioritise and decide how to move forward, so that everyone’s basic needs are met. Determine a group hour every evening where one of you is in charge of entertainment and gets to pick the game to play, movie to watch or music to listen to – together.

Bend the old screen time rules and pick your battles

Let’s face it, screen time restrictions that worked in BC times (aka Before Corona) cannot be considered reasonable today. Online schooling already adds a considerable amount of computer hours to our children’s daily lives. Don’t feel guilty about allowing more online entertainment than you would normally – it’s not their fault that the quota is reached so quickly. Instead, maybe (if needed) fun screen time could be used as a positive motivator or reward for your kids’ morning class efforts. If you haven’t done so yet, research new websites, educational games and online courses for them to use productively. The internet is awash with free stuff like never before. Unusual times call for unusual methods, and as soon as our movement restrictions are lifted, the weather will be fantastic for spending entire days outdoors again. Save your sanity for the more important stuff that possibly needs addressing – whatever this may be in your home.

Make it memorable for the right reasons

This staying at home thing has to be considered a marathon in order to shift our mindsets out of a passive mode into an empowered one. You can finally learn Greek! Take that online course! Read that book! Learn to play the guitar that’s been in the corner all these years! Blablabla? Yes, it’s not all rosy. Because if we’re truly honest, when we finally emerge at the end of this tunnel, nothing will ever be as it was in this world. We’re living history, writing the pages of tomorrow’s chronicles, living a bit of the future even. And while the global economy will be redefined, some of us will lose our jobs and have to find new ways to sustain a living. But then again, ‘different’ can also become ‘better’. Give your lockdown a soundtrack and dance.

A note on what to do if nothing works

Should your personal circumstances be of a nature that makes this lockdown period mentally or physically unbearable to you, it is vital to remember none of this is your fault. Do not be ashamed or blame yourself. Please, please find the strength deep within you to ask for help. Take your phone to the toilet or bathroom for a personal moment if you can, and get in touch with these confidential helplines

Cyprus Samaritans phone 80 00 77 73

Domestic Violence phone 1440

Children and Teenagers until 18 years phone 116 111

Welcome to our new normal

By MiC Carine 20/03/2020

Self-isolation/lockdown day #7

It’s been one full week since our family decided to consistently practice social distancing. No meeting friends for our boys or for us, and no visits to grandma. Effectively no contact with anyone, other than digitally. Food shopping is done with mask and gloves.

We sigh a breath of relief when a day has passed without anyone of us developing a sore throat, cough or fever. We count our blessings all the time and send positive vibes and strength to those less fortunate than us these days.

Who would have ever thought that in our lifetime, we would so suddenly be living in a world so surreal? It’s a bit like watching a ‘virus-infects-the-world’ disaster movie, except that we’re all in it.

Nevertheless, for every Yin there is a Yang, even with this effing virus. There are dolphins in Venice’s canals, ducks in city fountains, clear skies over China, and with pollution-free streets across the world, the previously alarming CO2 emissions have drastically been reduced. Community spirit has vastly improved and people are finding new ways to connect.

Most importantly, this lockdown has gifted us the luxury of time. Time to do nothing. Time to do everything. Time for ourselves. Time for each other. None of that constant rushing around. And you know what else? Statistically speaking, we are apparently still more likely to win in the lottery should we play it, than die from the virus should we become infected.

But yes, it is hard to keep trying to find the brighter side of it all when our world is turned upside down. It is normal to be scared and we must allow ourselves a break to properly process the shock, openly express our feelings and have a really good cry in order to come out stronger. The resulting acceptance of the new normal is key to continuity, one day at a time.

Our children are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. Let’s try not to let that fear of the unknown take over, let’s do everything we can to keep a healthy body, mind and spirit.

While many things seem out of our control right now, we can all still personally contribute to keeping the virus from spreading further and avoid the collapse of our healthcare system.

Stay home. Save a life. Stay healthy.

#flattenthecurve

When our world is turned upside down

By MiC Carine 12/03/2020

Prepare yes, panic no.

If you are feeling torn between options a.) wanting to pretend this Corona virus is just a severe strain of flu, and b.) letting your urge to panic get the better of you, then join the club!

Let’s just be honest and admit it, it is normal to feel scared. Most of us have never experienced life in the times of a pandemic, especially not in the role of parents to our children or caregivers to our elderly relatives.

There is no tried and tested plan to follow. Governments around the world seem to respond in wide-ranging ways, which only contributes to the confusion surrounding the situation. The mad conspiracy theories are not helping either (‘It’s a hoax’?!).

The last pandemic flu to circulate was caused by the H1N1pdm09 virus in 2009, which claimed upwards of half a million lives. Yet most of us here in Cyprus will not have been affected greatly by it, because compared to the way it spread on American continent, the disease was not so prevalent in Europe or Australia.

The 2020 version of Corona virus is unique in many ways. THE single, most important information to ALWAYS remember is that we can have picked up the virus, carry it, not develop any symptoms at all, but still be passing it on to others.

Should the ‘others’ belong to a high risk group, which includes older people and those with underlying health conditions, they will be at higher risk of developing complications from COVID-19.

This pandemic is going to get worse before it gets better. Ironically, accepting that fact has calming effect. China has been suffering since December, and only now are they seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been four months, so we need to realise that the pandemic is not going to pass anytime soon.

With this in mind, we must follow the advice given by the World Health Organisation to delay the spread of the virus and avoid the collapse of our public health system.

If you’re finding it difficult to keep calm these days, take a very deep breath, do not panic and have a look at what we can do to stay healthy and sane:

Let’s stay away from social media

as tempting as it may be to keep scrolling, we should put your phones away and shut out the negativity
try to limit ourselves to checking social media feeds once every couple of hours if we cannot manage longer periods

Let’s use only reliable, trustworthy, official sources

for local government announcements it is the Cyprus Press and Information Office
for local news the websites are In Cyprus, Cyprus Mail and KNews (Kathimerini English Edition), they also have apps

Let’s keep informed

for factual statistics of the COVID-19 disease and recovery rate progression, the Centre for Systems Science and Engineering (CSSE) at Johns Hopkins University has developed this map

Let’s not discriminate

this virus does not either
it goes for anyone of any race, gender, origin or nationality

Let’s not judge or blame

remember that we can all become a carrier of this nasty virus without noticing
Cyprus is small, and we may personally know the confirmed cases behind the statistics
none of the patients are to blame for anything because they didn’t know they caught it

Let’s practice Social Distancing

no more handshakes, hugs, kisses when greeting
keep a distance from the next person in the supermarket
suggest to work from home if feasible in your industry and position

Let’s put our social lives on hold for a while

schools are closed for a reason, organising meet ups and play dates defies the purpose
postpone those great big Sunday family lunches

Let’s get creative with our children

there are tons of articles and posts on the internet, and this one seemed very original

Let’s not panic

we are no use to anyone if we panic
unless we have been asked to self-isolate for two weeks, then there’s no need to bulk buy supplies
most of everything we need is produced locally, we’re not going to run out of anything

Oh, and let’s work on not touching our face.

It all sound easier than it is? Yes, maybe. But let’s also explain to our children in simple, clear terms that we have a collective responsibility towards each other and the more vulnerable members of our society. What seems like inconvenience now may actually save lives later.

Stay healthy. Stay safe. Stay sane.

Postpartum and baby blues – my story

By Anthi 26/06/2019

Last week, a colleague’s daughter gave birth to her first child and she told us that she was crying all the time, even when someone asked her how she was doing, she was starting crying. I immediately told her that I was crying all the time too! And it is normal and it is ok!

But why don’t we already know that BEFORE giving birth, so that we can be mentally prepared and potentially anticipate it? I certainly was oblivious to the existence of the so called “baby blues” and how difficult the first days/weeks of the postpartum period can be for a new mom, so now whenever someone asks me how it was for me, I am being honest and tells them that for about a week I was crying all the time.

First of all I had to learn how to care for a newborn when up to that moment, I had never even held a baby before. So I had to learn everything, from changing his diaper to changing his clothes, which I had to change too almost at every changing of the diaper because I wasn’t putting the diaper correctly so his clothes were getting wet and pooped every single time. It was taking me ages to do the whole changing thing, because I was afraid not to hurt him while putting his clothes on.

And not only that, I was also recovering from an emergency c section. Imagine recovering from a major surgery, because it really is a major surgery despite the fact that it is done so often nowadays, and also having to care for a newborn.

I was thinking that I was not a good mom because it was taking me “so long” to learn, which now that I look back, I do not know why I was so harsh on myself. I gave birth on Saturday morning and by Tuesday midday I was home with a newborn. Why was I not giving myself more time before wanting to do everything perfectly on my own I do not know, I blame it on the hormones and on my stubbornness.

On Wednesday, I decided that I needed help so I took my mom up on her offer to stay with us for some days even though her offer seemed ridiculous to me prior giving birth, because she lives down the road – so why would I need her to stay with us during the night too? My husband was amazingly supportive and he was doing everything from day 1 with our son, but I also needed my mom because she was the expert with babies and I needed her, especially during the night.

So for a week she was staying the night too, she and my husband were taking care of the diaper changing during the night so that they would give me time to get out of the bed (yes it was taking me THAT long to stand up when laying down with my incision), and they were placing my son on the right position so that I could breastfeed,which again did not come easy for me but I wanted to do it. They were encouraging me and supporting me and taking care of me so that I could heal and take care of my baby.

During the day, my grandmother was coming over and she was doing the dishes and my mom was ironing the baby clothes and my dad was giving me a pep talk about how I got this, I just needed to give myself time. I had an enormous support system and 10 days postpartum, I had finally started seeing that we were going to be ok and my uncontrollable crying and weeping had completed stopped.

My incision was feeling much better, I could move much better, I learned how to properly breastfeed and we were exclusively breastfeeding, I got used to waking up for the night feeds without a problem, I even learned how to put the diaper correctly. And I came to the conclusion that there is no such a thing as a perfect mom, but I can try as hard as I can to be an awesome mom.

I hope I did not scare the shit out of you if you are reading this and you are an expectant mom, because you can be awesome from day 1 and rock motherhood. But if you struggle like I did, know that it is ok, it is normal, it passes. Ask help and accept help. It is ok to accept help, you do not have to do everything by yourself just because you are the mom. Give yourself time to learn how to mother, because the day a child is born, the mother is born too.

Yours truly

Anthi Savva Radis

You can read more about Anthi here

Mental health: how to stop stigma and take action

By MiC Carine 06/05/2019

Here at Mums in Cyprus, we spend large parts of the morning online and as a consequence, come across countless of websites every day. We see rubbish websites (loads of them!), out of date websites (how hard can it be!?) and even websites where we seriously wonder why anyone even bothered to put them up…

But once in a while there is one that stands out. The Perfect Find.

Professional, transparent, factual and supportive, yesterday’s discovery is one of these gems: childmind.org

The Child Mind Institute is dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders. As an independent, non-profit organisation based in the United States, their teams ‘work every day to deliver the highest standards of care, advance the science of the developing brain and empower parents, professionals and policymakers to support children when and where they need it most.’

Ok, so Cyprus is not the US, but mental health is an issue on our island, too.

The website has a wealth of information, articles and tools for families. There are symptom checkers and parent guides, tips for teenagers and children.

Teachers can find resources for recognising learning disorders in the classroom, dealing with anxiety and ADHD in students, and browse though recommended strategies to address these.

One of the biggest obstacles to tackling mental health is the stigma attached to it, and this is where The Childmind Institute’s anti-stigma campaign #MyYoungerSelf comes in. That’s what got us to their website in the first place, as it was mentioned by Time Magazine.

‘This May actors, athletes, social influencers, businesspeople and more send a message of hope about their experience growing up with a mental health or learning disorder: Help us stop the shame and stigma. This is #MyYoungerSelf, the Child Mind Institute’s campaign to counter the stigma for the 1 in 5 children struggling with these disorders.’

We can ALL do our bit to stop the shame and stigma.

MiC’s Weekly Roundup #346! On Toxic Plastic, Dreaming and Mental Health ♻ ✨ 🆘

By MiC Team 11/06/2018

Head over to our full MiC Weekly Roundup here, which includes among other things, the latest news, events and a selection of the latest articles posted on the site!

Go to the full MiC Weekly Roundup here.

You can find past issues of our MiC Magazine in our archive here.

See you online… it’s where we all get together!

Kali evdomada!

Carine and Kat x

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